The one thing in the whole world
by carlycarter
Summary: ... that Kate does care about . Kate/Juliet and a little toy plane. An alternate first meeting for Kate & Juliet Season 3. 'What Juliet had not expected was the way her own heart stopped beating for just a moment...'
1. Chapter 1

"_The one thing in the whole world that Kate does care about" _

Kate Austen sits huddled in the corner of the hydra chamber. Silently. Not quite still, but serene. In her eyes Juliet sees something like peace. Something like insanity. Something telling her that the other woman is in a faraway place. Not stranded on an uncharted island in the middle of nowhere with no hope of escape, not imprisoned in the hydra station at the mercy of Benjamin Linus. But in a distant, surreal location. Something about Kate unexpectedly appears so innocent and ingenuous. So childlike and small. And Juliet struggles against the faintest glimmer of instinct to protect her.

Kate's fingers hold tightly to the toy air-plane, pushing it along as if it were soaring through the sky. She does her best with her hands cuffed together, slowly and methodically moving that toy backwards and forwards, over and over again. She had dropped it, once, and frantically scrambled to pick it up. Her entire demeanour changing once she held that toy safely in her hand. She resumed her ritual without skipping a beat, following that plane with her gaze intently. A sad tranquillity present in her eyes, accompanied by the rhythmic clinking of the metal handcuffs as she moved.

Juliet stands, mesmerised. It occurs to her that this is a bizarre performance to lull her into a false sense of security. But she dismisses the notion almost instantly. What she sees in that moment is something so raw and untainted, it isn't conceivable that this is an act. Kate seems to share such an intimate connection with the object, that Juliet feels like an intruder. Feels almost guilty for just being present in the room for this sacred ritual. So Juliet stands, mutely and unobtrusively, watching.

If Kate notices the other woman watching her, she makes no sign of it. So entranced is she in her play. Juliet tries to pity her, this sad pathetic grown woman, playing so fervently with a plastic child's toy. And yet Juliet finds herself fighting that stab on envy in her heart as she senses the perverse calmness radiating from the other woman. It isn't easy to believe this was the same woman who only hours ago had been kicking and screaming, fighting for her very life so passionately.

_So this is Kate_, Juliet thinks to herself. Cold blooded, quick tempered, '_fight to the death_' Kate? Kate whose screams echoed across the entire village as Jack and Sawyer were beaten in front of her , Kate who caused more than a few injuries to Juliet's colleagues as she fought them off. This is Kate, who callously, remorselessly murdered her father, Kate who robbed a bank but left all the money behind, Kate who evaded capture and survived on the run for years on end, Kate who survived a plane crash in this god forsaken place. This is Kate who had Jack and Sawyer falling all over themselves to claim her. Passionate, destructive, intense, merciful, resourceful, foolish, reckless Kate. This is the one who had piqued Ben's interest. The one Ben had sent Juliet to break. And how easy it had been to break her. Juliet finds it almost disappointing to witness to this unbreakable Kate crumbling to pieces before her very eyes. Juliet finds it beyond disappointing.

Now that the fighting spirit has been extinguished from Kate's eyes, Juliet stops for a moment, to wonder just what it was that Kate had been fighting for? Had she really been fighting for her freedom? For survival? Or just out of stubborn refusal to surrender, refusal to be defeated? That was the impression Juliet had already formed in her mind of the other woman. A rebel without a cause. A woman who fought for the sake of fighting, Ran for the sake of running, hoped for the sake of hoping. What could this other woman possibly be hoping against hope for?

Why hadn't Kate left the beach with Jack and the other survivors to settle at the caves. Why was she so unable to turn her back on that minute hope of miraculous rescue. Unwilling to. Why had Kate been so desperate to take Sawyers place on that raft? What kind of life did she have to go home to?

Juliet shakes her head slightly, reminding herself that she isn't qualified to judge the value of Kate's life, Kate's hope. If Kate thought there was something to gain escaping back to real world, so be it.

Juliet wonders where the hell that hope comes from. That fighting spirit. Juliet wonders what that impossible hope feels like. Juliet wonders if it hurts.

Juliet knows she is letting her own bitterness creep into her thoughts. Juliet is the one stranded here, without hope. Juliet has resigned herself to living this way, forever. Secure in the knowledge that while there may very well be a way to escape this island, there was certainly no turning back the clock. Her old life was over. Dead. Kate's was too. It would serve Kate well to get used to that fact sooner rather than later. Juliet cant help but draw her own pessimistic conclusions. The woman was doomed, even if she survived this, even if she escaped. Kate was predestined to a life of misery, loneliness, and soul crushing guilt. It didn't seem worth it, not worth fighting so valiantly so passionately for survival. For escape. And yet Juliet somehow expected her to fight for it. Expected to fight her every step of the way.

What Juliet had not expected, was this. Strange silent stillness, almost like death. What Juliet had not expected was the way her own heart stopped beating for just a moment, Hadn't expected the way her breath caught in her throat as she gazed upon that hollow emptiness in Kate's eyes.

Juliet had prepared thoroughly for her mission, had read every word Ben provided her with about Kate Austen. She had been enthralled, enraptured by this enigma that was Kate. And finally here was the woman in the flesh, living and breathing before her very eyes. Yet it only brought more questions than answers.

Juliet had always distanced herself from people she captured, a necessity for her own survival. She never allowed herself to connect with them as human beings. But something about Kate intrigued Juliet. Something about Kate magnified itself a thousand times over and transplanted itself into Juliet's soul. Juliet had long since learned to push her own feelings aside, along with other peoples. But the sheer intensity radiating from the other woman stops Juliet in her tracks. As her eyes locked with Kate's, Juliet finds herself desperate to know everything there is to know about this woman before her.

Juliet knows Kate is courageous, undoubtedly. She also knows that Kate is deeply insecure, distrustful. But she had not expected the magnitude of terror she had seen flash across Kate's eyes. Had not expected it to pierce her own heart.

Juliet isn't sure yet if she thinks Kate is a strong woman. Sure, she survived on her own all those years, with nothing. Survived that plane crash and these weeks on the island. Yet it is the emotional weakness Juliet despises in her. Letting her anger, fear, love, get the better of her time and time over. Sure Kate was capable of clever deception at times, but she had been true to her heart. Always. That was the weakness that caused her downfall.

The idea that Kate is intelligent was debatable. Sitting playing with a child's toy while her own life at stake was less than clever. Add this bizarre behaviour to the endless list of downright stupid things Kate had done her life, repeating the same mistakes over and over. Kate had proven herself to be self destructive, thoughtless and reckless. And one look at her life, it was plain to see Kate had little, if anything, to show for her choices. Nothing that justified all that stupidity.

But Juliet hesitates to dismiss her entirely as an idiot. Kate had also proven herself resourceful and clever. By her efforts to survive on the island, to ensure the survival of her people. By the years she evaded capture by the marshals. Only to be caught in the end because she was unable to leave a man to die in a car wreck. So perhaps Kate was foolish, but not stupid and certainly but not heartless. In fact it was almost admirable.

Juliet doesn't ask herself the question , i_f she were the one running for her life, her freedom, for her chance to get off this island, would she have left that man to die in that car?_ A man who turned her in, a man who betrayed her? Juliet doesn't ask herself, because she isn't sure she wants to know the answer. Juliet doesn't ask herself just what makes her own life different from Kate's. Kate was hardly the only one who had made stupid choices, who had nothing to show for her life, Kate wasn't the only one imprisoned in this hellish place, the only one who had no hope.

Juliet quickly gives up contemplating the mystery of Kate's courage, intelligence and compassion. Instead Juliet decides that Kate's trump card is her charisma. She won people over easily. No one had suspected at first that she had been the fugitive on that plane. People liked Kate, loved her even. And Juliet wonders why. Is it just the fact that she is beautiful ? Seeing Kate in the flesh- even after weeks stranded on the island, days of imprisonment, starvation and beatings, It remained an undeniable fact- Kate was beautiful. A kind of raw beauty that couldn't be tarnished. But it was something deeper than physical beauty that drew people in, against their will, against their better judgement. Some kind of magic power weaving its way through Juliet's own heart right at that very moment.

What was it about Kate Austen that caused Jack to scream her name, and her name alone, as they tortured him? Surpassing his anger, his own judgements, his undeniable disappointment at her deception ? What was it about Kate that caused Juliet's heart to catch in her throat as her piercing screams for mercy fell over the hushed village?

Then there was that most perplexing thing of all- That damn stupid toy plane that now occupied Kate's entire attention. Juliet recalled the fear she had evoked in Kate's eyes only minutes ago, before Juliet had even laid eyes upon that plane, let alone touched it.

_The minute Juliet's gaze had rested on that bulge in Kate's pocket, Kate's hand had flung instinctively to protect it. Kate's eyes had flashed with fear and resolve. And defiantly Kate had uttered "Don't you dare." Kate tried to make is sound like a command. But to Juliet's ears it sounded like pleading. A desperate pathetic request from a woman with no hope. Ordinarily Juliet would have laughed in the face of such desperation. But she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. _

_Juliet wanted to tell Kate she was going have to learn to play her cards closer to her chest if she was wanted to survive around here. She had given herself away so easily, with no effort from Juliet at all. Kate had told her with one look that the thing she treasured most, that thing she didn't want Juliet to get her hands on, was right inside that pocket. _

_Juliet pitied the foolish girl, and yet found herself somehow jealous of the freedom Kate felt to express herself, to feel things just because you feel them with no thought to the consequences. Juliet envied her the way Kate had sobbed hysterically as Jack was beaten in front of her. Showing everyone around her, her captors, her enemy, that they had wounded her deeply. It had been a pathetic display of human emotion, foolish and weak. And utterly beautiful. _

_It hadn't take much to wrestle the object from Kate's pocket, after all Kate hands were cuffed, she was weakened from days with no food, from merciless beatings. Juliet had every advantage. Still, Kate tried, as Juliet knew she would, to fight to defend her precious talisman. But Juliet caught her off guard with she sheer force and menace with which she pushed Kate up against the wall. Kate stumbled backwards in defeat, crying out as her head collided with the brick wall. _

_Their conversation up to that point had been polite, gentle, reassuring. Kate was unprepared for such an unprovoked attack from Juliet. Truthfully, Juliet surprised herself with the force she used. It wasn't necessary at all. But she had been driven beyond any logical sense, to reach into Kate's pocket and touch the thing that lay inside it. _

_Juliet recognised the object as soon as she pulled it from Kate's pocket . She had read the stories about that bank robbery. The shooting. Kate risking her freedom, leaving all that money behind. It was a hell of a lot of effort, a lot of risk, to get her hands on that toy plane. Sure it belonged to her childhood sweetheart. Sure she felt guilty as hell for his death. Tormented herself over it relentlessly. Sure Mars baited her and she fell for it. Even so, it seemed over the top to Juliet. And all that, to lose it again when she was finally captured in Australia, and then to have it pulled away even further from her grasp in a plane crash. To finally find it once again, and once again pay such a high price for holding onto it, lying to Jack, losing his respect. _

_All that for a little plastic toy plane. The plane that Kate was guarding with her soul as if it was the most important thing to her, as if it were the one thing in the whole world that Kate does care about. Juliet wondered what that felt like, having something to hold so close that meant so much. _

_Juliet closed her fingers over the object, encasing it in her hand, out of Kate's sight. Kate's eyes clouded over with rage. Yet Kate didn't make a move, not while Juliet held that precious toy plane in her hands. It was as if she was afraid that if she attacked Juliet, Juliet might drop it, Juliet might break it, Juliet might crush that little toy plane in her bare hands. And Kate held her breath expectantly. _

_Juliet clung tightly to that plane, half expecting some sort of magic power to reveal itself. Tried desperately to feel what it was about that lump of plastic that could possibly mean so much. Juliet closed her eyes. Waiting. But nothing happened. And Juliet reluctantly concluded that Kate was kidding herself. It was just a meaningless lump of plastic. The true thing Kate really craved slipped through her fingers long long ago. But Juliet couldn't bring herself to burst that bubble. She knew the things she should have said in that moment, the things Ben would want her to say. Accusations about Tom, Taunting Kate about his death, about that little toy plane. She knew it wouldn't take much to push Kate over the edge. To tell her that the stupid plane meant nothing. That Kate had nothing, just like the rest of them stranded on that damn island. Once again, when Juliet tried to open her mouth,__she found only a hollow dry void of silence. _

_To break the awkward silence, and maintain her sense of control, Juliet finally instructed Kate to sit. Kate obediently slumped to the floor. Juliet marvelled that it had been so easy. Only hours ago nothing would force the woman to comply with even the simplest of commands. Not promises of food, threats of harm to her, to Jack, to Sawyer. Stubbornly she had refused to give an inch. Yet now Juliet had that plane in her hands, the woman's resolve crumbled right in front of her very eyes. Ah, Juliet thought to herself, so that little toy plane did have powers after all. _

_Reminding herself she was pleased by her new found authority over Kate, Juliet placed that little toy plane in her own pocket. And suddenly that meaningless useless lump of plastic felt as if it was alive, as if it was smouldering and burning against Juliet's flesh. _

_When Juliet looked into Kate eyes it was pure unadulterated terror staring back at her, from eyes that had all but lost their light. Juliet longed to understand what it was about that toy plane that frightened Kate so, that caused those passionate eyes to fade to a death like stare, caused this strong woman to huddle trembling in front of her. _

_It was that curiosity drove Juliet to take a deep breath and crouch down in front of Kate, a simple need to understand. So Juliet told herself. Told herself it was all part of the greater plan. Nothing to do with the fact that she suddenly and inexplicably found herself longing to be close to the other woman. Lost for words, Juliet offered the bottle of water to Kate. A peace offering of sorts. And because she couldn't stand to see those dry cracked lips. Kate looked at that bottle, then to Juliet. She made no move to take it, not even any sign of longing in her gaze, as if she wasn't thirsty in the least, which Juliet knew to be a physical impossibility. _

_Drink it." Juliet told her. But Kate hadn't moved an inch. Two days without water and the stubborn girl wouldn't take a drink. Where once Juliet would have shrugged, smiling, and said 'Suit yourself Kate.' Instead she found anger creeping into her consciousness. Not quite anger. Something almost like caring. Something that drove her to take a deep breath, and instead of laughing, instead of walking away and taking that water bottle with her, Juliet found herself lifting that bottle to Kate's lips, as if Kate were a child, half expecting Kate to angrily fling the bottle away, too proud to accept anything from the enemy. The enemy who not only kidnapped and tortured her and her friends, but the enemy who took her little toy plane away._

_Once again, Kate surprised Juliet, as she drank gratefully from the bottle Juliet offered her. Her legs aching, Juliet moved to sit cross legged on the floor. Not feeling the least bit vulnerable, not even considering the possibility that Kate might find her fighting spirit again any minute, any minute that fear might turn into anger, , and that sitting there opposite Kate would only make her an easy target._

_  
Juliet found herself drawn to touch Kate. Found herself taking Kate's trembling bleeding red raw wrists in her own hands. Both her arms covered in bruises from where she had been beaten and kicked. Juliet had heard her screaming. But Kate made it so hard on herself, trying to fight back, trying to escape. It only made them beat her harder. Kate had been asking for trouble, when it must have been obvious she was defeated. There was nothing to gain from fighting back at that point, she was out numbered by far. She could not possibly have believed she stood a chance. That was just one more thing about Kate that Juliet couldn't quite fathom. _

_It made Juliet nervous that Kate was now so quiet, so complacent. Throughout the exchange it sat uncomfortably with Juliet that she was the only one speaking. Juliet had envisioned it all so differently. Pictured Kate full of angry questions and accusations, while Juliet herself smiled sweetly, smugly, and gave little away. _

_Instead Juliet, after forcefully taking away Kate's treasured possession, now sat before her, her own hands trembling as if she were the prisoner and Kate the captor. As if Kate had the power to destroy her, and not the other way around. _

_Instinctively, Juliet reached into her pocket for the key to remove those handcuffs. That same pocket that contained that little plane. Kate's eyes followed intently. Juliet's heart stopped beating, just for a moment, as she pushed away the realisation, that this wasn't how things were supposed to work. The realisation that she was no longer playing some kind of manipulative game with Kate. Trying to win her trust, trying to confuse her, to break her. It was Simply that Juliet couldn't stand to see Kate's wrists torn to shreds in those handcuffs. Juliet felt her own wrists stinging, burning, as if her own hands were cuffed, not Kate's. To Juliet it seemed somehow that by removing those ghastly things, she would be freeing herself and not Kate. _

"_Let me take those off." Juliet offered. And just like that the conversation reverted to polite, almost caring. Except, unlike before, Juliet wasn't just playing her part. Her voice now laden with genuine compassion, with empathy. Perhaps Kate sensed it, from the way her head snapped up, looking into Juliet's eyes silently searching for meaning. Juliet could see Kate was surprised, confused. .As if she hadn't expected such a caring gesture from Juliet. Beyond that, as if she hadn't expected it from anyone. as if no one, ever, had spoken to Kate with that much compassion, as if no one had ever touched her so tenderly, in Kate's entire life._

_Juliet knew it was pathetic. The way she looked to Kate in that moment, expecting something from her. Expecting Kate to understand. Juliet's 'people' had tortured the girl for days. And now here was Juliet sitting before her, wanting to take the hand cuffs off, as if that made up for everything Kate had endured. Here was Juliet sitting, gently caressing Kate's bloodied wrists, and looking to Kate as if Kate should somehow be grateful for the concern. As if she should somehow trust Juliet just because she is sitting there with that key in her hand offering to set her wrists free. _

_What Juliet wanted to say to Kate was this. _

_'You can trust me. I wont hurt you. I wont let them hurt you anymore.' _

_As the words crossed her mind, Juliet had to stop herself from laughing out loud. How ludicrous. They had already hurt Kate. And Juliet was powerless to stop the others doing with Kate whatever they wanted to. What's more, there was no reason why Juliet should even want to try. _

_Kate's eyes returned to that pocket. Still longing for that little plane. Distant fear fading in her almost lifeless eyes. Lifeless didn't suit her. Neither did fear. Juliet wondered how it was possible one look could drive her so crazy from eyes so dispassionate one minute, yet flickering with intensity the next. _

_How deeply Juliet wanted say to her ..._

_'Don't be afraid. You've lost everything already Kate. Anything you still had belongs to Ben now. There is nothing left to fear, and it's not so bad. So please stop looking at me like that. Like I'm the one who broke your heart. Like I'm the one that can fix it. Stop it Kate, because it's killing me.' _

_Shaking her head, Juliet focused her concentration on slipping that key into the lock to remove those handcuffs, But Kate pulled her hands away abruptly. _

_Once again its anger that Juliet found creeping up. She pushed it away. Refusing to let Kate get the better of her. If the stupid girl didn't want Juliet to take those handcuffs off then let her suffer. What difference should it make to Juliet? But it did make a difference, it made Juliet want to scream. _

_Instead Juliet swallowed her frustration and asked calmly, "You don't want me to un cuff you Kate?" Juliet waited for Kate to shout back that she wanted to be free, that she wanted to know where Jack was, that she wanted to go home. All the things Juliet heard her scream over and over to anyone who would listen for days on end after she had been captured._

_But Kate didn't answer. And it was that exact moment that the fear seized Juliet's heart. That moment Juliet realised Kate Austen had some strange power over her. This was completely insane, sitting here, pleading with this prisoner to drink, to allow Juliet to un cuff her. It was that moment that Juliet realised she had done it, done what Ben asked, broken Kate completely. Juliet had done it. And somehow lost herself in the process. _

_All Juliet wanted in that moment was to put Kate back together. To hear her scream, for her to kick and scream and fight. Juliet wanted to see some sign of life. Wanted to see strength and passion and fire. and not fear._

_And Juliet was afraid, because it was crazy to want that. And even more afraid that it was probably too late. _

_Juliet knew in her heart this was wrong. Juliet had always known the things the 'others' did were wrong. She forced herself to overlook it, her own survival taking priority. It was adapt or die, and so she had adapted. But this was different. Hurting Kate was wrong on an altogether new level. Hurting Kate- was unbearable. Juliet felt fear escalating to realise Kate had such power over her, to realise anyone had that power over her when she had long ago convinced herself she was unreachable. _

"_Give it back." Kate spoke finally, in a shaky voice, pulling Juliet from her thoughts._

_Taking the plane from her had been instinct. A seemingly good tactic. To gain control, power. leverage. To get Kate's attention. And here Kate was. Broken, virtually begging fro that stupid toy plane. Ben would have been pleased. Finally Juliet had the power to control Kate Austen._

_But Juliet knew she had to give it back. Taking that plane away simply felt too cruel. Like snatching candy from a baby. It had been too easy. Too needless. It cut Juliet right through to her gut with insidious guilt. All the things Juliet had been part of, all the things she had washed herself clean from, and this, taking that stupid toy plane from Kate, this was the thing that tormented her. _

_It was that moment Juliet knew without a shadow of a doubt that Kate wasn't the one who was completely insane. It was that moment Juliet stopped caring if she had lost her mind. It was that moment Juliet reached into her pocket, gently cradling that plane in her hand as if it would shatter, and placed it into Kate's outstretched trembling fingers. _

_Juliet then climbed to her feet, taking hesitant steps away from Kate._

Juliet watches Kate drift further away, to a far away place. Playing with that little toy plane as if Juliet did not even exist, as if Jack and Sawyer and Ben and this whole crazy god forsaken island did not exist.

It's envy Juliet feels as she looks upon that peaceful expression on Kate's face. Juliet does not want to turn her eyes away. As if some of that madness might be contagious. As if just a flicker of that crazy unreal peace might transcend into her own soul. Juliet shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other, as feelings of shame she long since banished come flooding back over her. Feelings of confusion and powerlessness and dread.

Finally, a perverse sadness overtakes Juliet as she stands watching. A sadness that outweighs all her other conflicting thoughts and feelings. Juliet feels suddenly like she lost something precious. She realises that giving Kate back that plane only pushed her further away into some sort of unreal faraway fantasy. A place Juliet can not follow.

So, while there may be peace in place of that ghastly death-like terror -illed expression in Kate eyes, Kate is still gone. And Juliet is, undeniably, alone.

.

'


	2. Chapter 2

Kate Austen closes her eyes in an attempt to diminish the unbearable throbbing pain in her head, the burning stinging sensation of her wrists being handcuffed, and the relentless aching of her back as she sat slumped up against the wall of the cold dismal hydra station. She shivers involuntarily. Every breath she takes causes a sharp bolt of pain to go shuddering through her weary body. All she wants is to sleep. She doesn't think she cares if she never wakes up.

Distantly, Kate hears voices.

"She is faking it." Ben states dismissively.

The voice of the blonde woman challenges him. "You did beat her almost to death. You know, If you wanted to kill her there are easier ways. Ways that don't involve me wasting my time or our medical resources."

"I don't want to kill her. On the contrary. I've plans for that one. She is special."

"Unless your plans include a funeral service, let me take her to the infirmary."

Ben sighed wearily. "Always a flair for the dramatic, Juliet."

_Juliet,_ Kate lets the name sink into her consciousness. Forgetting for a moment that these two human beings were casually discussing her death as if they were talking about the weather, Kate takes a moment to admire this woman, Juliet. To admire her her tone of voice when talking to Ben. Not a single trace of fear present, Juliet was confident, assertive. She didn't bow down to him like everyone else did.

"She's not like all the others, Ben. You're making a mistake if you think you can buy her allegiance with empty promises of freedom, or scare her into submission with your threats."

"Not like you then, Juliet." Ben retorts.

Although she can't open her eyes and see the look of anger on Juliet's face, Kate can feel the tension in the room rising. For a moment there is awkward silence. And then, calmly, Juliet speaks again.

"Let me take care of her. Show her that we aren't really the bad guys. After a while, she wont even want to go back to those people. To those two cowardly men who sold her out for their own freedom. She will want to stay here, work with us. Isn't that far more ideal than keeping her against her will?"

"An unwilling participant is far more of a challenge. And I fancy a challenge."

Ben's voice sent shivers down Kate's spine. Instinctively she clings a little tighter to that toy plane encased in her left hand, so tight that she iss certain it iss digging into her calloused skin, drawing blood.

"She'd be more use to you if you turned her anger back on her own people." Juliet remarks casually.

There is heavy silence as Ben contemplates the suggestion. "Fine, as you wish. Take her." Ben concedes, as Kate hears his footsteps echo down the hallway marking his quiet retreat

~~.............

The first thing Kate is aware of as she wakes up, is that it no longer hurts to breathe. The intense throbbing headache is now only a dull pain, her hands are now freed from restriction of those hideous handcuffs.

Common sense is screaming at her, _get up and run_. Screaming at her that she is trapped in a crazy crazy place, with insane barbaric people, doing god knows what kind of medical experiments on her. _Get up and run like hell. _

Eyes still closed, her right hand feels cautiously the gash on her head, which had been stitched by someone at some point. 7 neat little stitches pulling skin tightly together. Her hand moves down to her left writs, blistered and raw from the metal handcuffs, and in her left hand, still safely tucked away, her little toy plane.

Cautiously Kate opens her eyes, surveying the IV bag suspiciously as the clear liquid drips slowly into an IV cannula situated in her left cubital fossa. Kate runs her fingers over the IV. Before the thought to pull it out has even crossed her mind, Kate feels the other woman's fingers clamp down on top of her own. Kate looks up sharply, straight into the face of Juliet.

"Don't touch that." Juliet instructs.

"Or what?" Kate wants to know, hating the way her voice sounds suddenly so small.

"Or I will have you restrained and insert it again." Juliet answers with an irritating, condescending smile.

"Anyway," Juliet adds, softening her tone, "It's antibiotics, and analgesia. You need it."

Kate nods slightly, releasing her grip on the IV device. Juliet smiles in response and turns away long enough for Kate to reach again for the IV and swiftly remove it from her arm.

Juliet sighs wearily. "Kate." She scolds, as if she was talking to a child. " Do you really have to fight so hard against everything that's good for you? Don't you ever get tired of being so self destructive?"

Forcefully Juliet takes Kate's wrist in her hand, causing Kate to gasp as she clasps her hand tightly around the red raw skin from the handcuffs. Straightening Kate's arm, Juliet applies gauze to the bleeding insertion site, holding it there for a minute with not-so-gentle pressure to stop the blood flow.

Her right arm still free, Kate could have fought the woman off. Instead, Kate subtly moves her right hand to carefully take the plane from her left, to take it as far away from Juliet as possible. Her left arm restrained in Juliet's tight grasp, her right hand busy holding tightly to that little plane, didn't leave Kate with much to fight with. Besides, Kate finds her resolve to fight crumbling away beneath her by the second. And her own bitter experience tells her that she can't win any fight against these people. If she attacked Juliet now, within minutes reinforcements would arrive to send her back to that hydra station in shackles, so Kate holds back.

Kate watches her own bright blood stain the other woman's fingers. It makes her cringe.

Juliet shakes her head. Reaches for the nearby phone, no doubt to call someone to come and tie Kate down and restrain her. Then, after a moment of hesitation, Juliet gently replaces the receiver in it's cradle and shrugs in defeat.

"Have it your own way, Kate. You'd rather develop septicaemia than have antibiotics? That's fine with me. You'd rather not have morphine to dull your splitting headache and pain of broken ribs? Suit yourself. It's really not any concern of mine. If you don't want my help, if you want to leave, then go." Juliet motioned to the door.

Kate knows it is likely a trick, a sick game. That outside that door probably sits a whole army of people waiting to tackle her to the ground and imprison her. Still, temptation is irresistible. Escape. Freedom. Running is such a primal instinct, Running is all Kate Austen really knows how to do.

Juliet sits calmly in a chair in the corner of the room, arms folded, head slightly tilted, eyes silently challenging the other woman _'Go on then Kate, run.' _

Kate turns back the bed sheets hesitantly, noticing for the first time that her clothes have been removed, and she is now dressed in a hospital gown. Her wounds have been cleaned and dressed, her bruises slightly faded. Kate wonders how many days she has been here unconscious? What have they been doing to her in that time? Kate doesn't think she really wants to know.

.

Juliet doesn't move a muscle as Kate swings her legs over the side of the bed .The room swirling all around her, Kate closes her eyes. Kate takes a deep breath, hoping like hell that the room will have stopped spinning by the time she opens them again. Clutching to the bedside table to pull herself to her feet, Kate makes her way slowly towards the door, one hand splayed up against the wall to steady herself, the other hand holding tightly to her little toy plane.

The moment she takes the first step is right about the time Kate begins to regret pulling that Morphine infusion out, as pain shoots through her back, her side, her head. Determination rising, she pushes the pain aside and persists. She makes it within centimetres of the door before her legs give way beneath her, before the tightness in her chest is so agonising she feels like she can't breathe anymore. She sinks to the floor in defeat, head heavy with confusion, dizziness and pain.

Juliet watches for a moment, a smug smile of satisfaction creeping across her face from her position in the corner of the room. Slowly she makes her way towards the other woman, lowering herself to the floor to meet Kate eye to eye. Gently pushing Kate's tangle of curls away from her face and behind her ear, Juliet makes a suggestion. "How about we do things my way from now on?"

It isn't the agonising pain that causes Kate to nod her head slightly in agreement with the other woman. It is something intangible about the way Juliet's fingers feel against her skin. It is something about the way Juliet looks her straight in the eye, and just for a moment that smug satisfaction vanishes completely, and in it's place Kate sees something else. Something resembling compassion. Empathy. Understanding.

As Juliet places her hand under Kate's chin to lift her head, instructing her to slow her breathing, Kate finds the tightness in her chest dissipating. She closes her eyes, listening to the reassuring tones of the other woman's voice telling her that she will feel better soon. And much to her surprise, breathing comes a little easier, her heart rate slows to normal. Kate finds an unexpected gentleness in the other woman's touch, in her words. It's a picture she can't quite equate with her first impressions of the woman.

Kate knows by now that there are multiple faces of Juliet. Her confident cold demeanour is only a facade. Much of what Juliet portrays to the world is an act. And this gentle caring side to her is likely as false as the rest. Kate knows by now that Juliet, like anyone, can't be trusted. That Juliet, like anyone, is only out for herself. Kate knows that she is being manipulated. But in that moment, Kate stops caring.

If this is an act, Kate willingly submits to playing her role. Because right in that moment, as Juliet carefully places a blanket around her shoulders, gently caressing her back with healing hands, and whispering soothing words of reassurance, Kate has never felt more at peace. All her pain fades into insignificance, all her fear, her anger, is gone. And Kate closes here eyes, resting her head against the other woman's shoulder,allowing herself to believe in Juliet's sweet words of promise.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate watches the other woman's steady gentle hands with curiosity, tinged with the faintest glimmer of admiration, as Juliet delicately removes the sutures from Kate's forehead. Kate finds herself utterly captivated by the woman, but wonders if this is merely a consequence of the fact that Juliet is the only human being she has had contact with in the past 5 days?

Juliet Burke- Beautiful. Intelligent. Confident. What was a woman like her doing in a place like this? Working with these heinous people? Only one way to find out, Kate comes straight out and asks.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Juliet sits back, eyeing Kate with a slight sense of puzzlement. "Removing the sutures from your head, be quiet, and keep still."

"I mean, what are you doing here on this island?" Kate clarifies.

Juliet stops in her tracks, laying down the instruments in her hand. Tilting her head slightly she looks questioningly into Kate's eyes. How many million times had Juliet asked herself that same question, over and over in the dark stillness of the night. _What the hell am I doing here? _

Finally, softly, Juliet answers "No one has ever asked me that, Kate."

Kate shivers at the sound of her own name in Juliet's mouth. It sounds suddenly so perfectly fitting on Juliet's lips.

"I'm asking." Kate responds.

"Why do you want to know?" Juliet attempts to hide the rising panic behind a cool smile.

"I asked first." Kate responds in playful, almost childish tones. Kate is enjoying the game, the knowledge that she has somehow caught Juliet Burke off guard. Besides, she can't find an answer. Why does she want to know? Just curious? Just passing the time? It's not so much what Juliet is doing on this island that is of chief concern to Kate anymore, It was why the question had caused such uncharacteristic hesitation in her voice, and that unprecedented flash of humanity in her eyes.

Juliet pauses, turning away from Kate, considering her words carefully before she spoke, as she always did. A habit that set her and Kate at opposite ends of the playing field. This time, Juliet hesitates longer than usual. Kate expects her to harden her gaze, her tone, and reply that it isn't any of Kate's concern. After all, she was the captor, Kate the prisoner. Kate was in no position to be demanding answers.

But when Juliet turns back around, she answers calmly " I came here for professional reasons."

"You came here for a job?" Kate asks incredulously. "You came here voluntarily? For a job?" Kate regrets the scorn in her voice almost instantly, as an unmistakable emotion clouds Juliet Burke's eyes. Regret. Something Kate Austen is all too familiar with. In that moment, Kate wishes that she was more like Juliet. That she would learn to hold her tongue instead of foolishly uttering the very first thing that came in to her head.

"Yes." Juliet answers, in an emotionless flat tone. She could not honestly look Kate in the eye and declare it had been any other way. Yes, now she was a prisoner at Ben's mercy, no better off that Kate herself. But she had got herself into this mess. She had accepted the job, she had willingly consumed the sedative, she had woken up in that sub, dazed and confused, emerging from the dark cabin out into this living nightmare. She had not been kidnapped, she had not been dragged by force. She can not even claim that she had been deceived. No one lied to her. _'Not exactly in Portland.' _They had freely admitted.

"Must be some high paying job." Kate remarks, still unable to fathom why someone as obviously talented as Juliet would choose to hide away in a godforsaken place like this.

Juliet makes no response.

"Or are there...other benefits?" Kate suggests.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Juliet demands. And piece by piece the cold calculating veneer of Juliet Burke is falling away. She is defensive, irritated, almost angry. Kate has managed to push her buttons. Juliet is visibly disturbed by the implication she was romantically involved with one of the others, Ben perhaps. And Kate doesn't know what to make of this.

"I just find it difficult to imagine anyone would choose to come here for a job." Kate shrugs. While she is enjoying the fact that she has unnerved Juliet, something inside tells her not to push it too far.

"You clearly have no understanding of the importance of my work. Thank God you're not in charge of medical research." Juliet snaps back at her.

"Research? What research could you possibly be dong here that's of such great importance to the world. Tell me, I really want to know." Kate can't help the smile creeping across her face at causing Juliet to snap.

Juliet takes a deep breath "Maybe some other time, Kate. " Her voice is calm, she has regained her composure, but only just. She is determined to play it cool, not to let Kate Austen get under her skin. After all, why should Juliet care at all about anything Kate Austen thinks? And yet Kate's condemnation weighs heavily upon her. The unvoiced allegation that Juliet must have been pretty damn stupid to end up in a place like this. Juliet longs to tell Kate the truth, to tell her every last thing, to tell her that she was just as much a prisoner as Kate was. Juliet can't decide which prospect horrifies her more- Kate thinking she is evil and one of the 'others' by choice, or Kate thinking she is foolish and pathetic and a powerless prisoner at Ben's mercy. And more than that, Juliet can't work out just why she cares the first thing about Kate's opinion of her.

"Really, Juliet. I want to know why you came here." Kate persists. But there is no taunting in her voice this time. Only genuine curiosity. Almost compassion.

"Why did you?" Juliet demands, turning the question back on Kate. Moments too late she realises the stupidity of her own question. Kate had frazzled her, backed her into a corner. She lost her cool. And she can't explain why. How many times had people tried to taunt her into breaking? None succeeded. None, but for Kate. Juliet knows she should have walked away, about ten minutes ago. Just calmly walked out and slammed the door and left Kate Austen pondering over her questions. And Juliet can not, for the life of her, imagine why she did not do so.

"My plane crashed." Kate answers smugly, knowing that Juliet knows it all too well. That Juliet knows more about Kate than she dares to imagine. "Crash landed right here. Right in the middle of your precious world changing research project. Now I'm stuck here, I guess."

"Lucky for me." Came the sarcastic reply.

"So what now?" Ordinarily Kate wouldn't bother with the questions, none of these people, Juliet least of all, were known for giving a straight answer. It's not even that Kate really wants the answers anymore. But her questions seem to be having an unsettling effect on Juliet. Kate finds that satisfying. And enticing. "Now I'm one of your prisoners?"

"It doesn't have to be that way, Kate. You'd make things a lot easier for yourself if you co-operate with us. We don't have to be on the opposite sides of this war." Juliet tells her calmly.

"You want me to turn on my own people? Join you and your bunch of psychopaths doing god knows what crazy things on this damn island?"

Ignoring the insults about the 'others', after all Kate was spot on, Juliet asks Kate a question. "You're awfully concerned about "your people". What makes them _your_ people? Your plane crashed? Big deal. They are strangers to you. You think any of them give a shit about you, Kate?" _They don't care about you_, Juliet wants to say. _They don't, but I do._ Juliet forces herself to take a deep breath, preventing too much emotion creeping into her voice.

Kate is silenced momentarily by Juliet's words. Juliet can tell precisely the thing running through Kate's mind as the seed of doubt is planted. _Where is Jack? Where is Sawyer? Why haven't they come to rescue me? Have they left me for dead? Sold me out for their own freedom? Why the hell not? Has anyone ever put themselves out for me, ever? Only one, Tom. And look what he got for his troubles._

"There is no way out Kate, I tell you this for your own good. Make the best of it. You're a smart woman. You know when you're beaten. This island is a harsh place. We all know it. But don't despair. Life is a hell of a lot better on this side of the fence, trust me."

"Is it?" Kate asks sceptically.

Juliet hesitates again. Unable to remember a time she had engaged with another human being on such a raw and honest level.

_Is it?_ Juliet asks herself silently. It is safer. Let's face it, Ben has all the power, the knowledge, the way off this island. Ben is holding all the cards. Ben controls this island. The only reason Kate and her 'people' are still alive is because Ben allowed it. So, yes, life is better on Ben's side than against him.

Still, Juliet feels that rebellious part of her stirring. There was something almost romantic, honourable, of the whole crusade against the 'others'. Something breathtakingly beautiful about the way they banded together, strangers at the time of the crash, enduring beatings for one another, prepared to die for one another. A fact that Ben often used to his advantage. Juliet asks herself if she would lay down her life for any of her people on the island. No. Would any lay down their lives for her? Not one would lift a finger. Every man for himself. Life. Just life. Where did all that loyalty and camaraderie get those crash survivors? Dead, or imprisoned. And yet part of Juliet longs for a life like that. The stupidity and recklessness of it all. Fighting for something righteous. Just what would that feel like?

"So your own comfort, your own survival, takes priority over every other thing?" Kate asks, as if she has read Juliet's thoughts. Kate isn't challenging Juliet for the sake of being cruel. She wants to know the answer. Somehow she feels like Juliet should understand her. "Do you really think it's ok to put your own needs above doing the right thing? To stand by and watch people beaten and tortured and imprisoned and killed all to make life easier for yourself?"

The words stung. Because, yes, Juliet thinks it's quite alright with her. She would gladly stand by and let Ben do whatever he wished, if only it would lead her back to Rachel and Julian. And after all, it's not like Juliet orchestrated this whole thing. Ben was the one in charge, and he would accomplish his goals with or without Juliet's help. Why sacrifice herself? There was no stopping him. She could turn against him and only find herself killed. He wouldn't be stopped. He couldn't be. Where was the crime in looking after herself?

But, afraid Kate would not understand, afraid Kate would look at her as if she was the most evil selfish person who ever walked the earth, Juliet doesn't defend her position aloud. Instead, to take the heat off herself, she launches her own cruel attack on Kate.

Juliet forces herself to laugh in Kate's face. "You, of all people, are going to sit there and talk to me about right and wrong? As if you never hurt anyone in your life Kate? As if people haven't lost their lives to accomplish your own agenda? I hardly think you're in any position to lecture me."

Kate recoils, as if she has been slapped in the face. And Juliet feels almost remorseful, somewhere underneath the relief that she has finally regained her position of power.

"I've made mistakes." Kate admits. "All the more reason to do the right thing now. And I'd rather die than become a traitor my own people." Kate proclaims with fiery determination in her eyes.

Something in her determined words angers Juliet. Foolish girl. It was a stupid choice. And yet, Juliet almost envies her strength of conviction.

"Well, what can I expect? You have nothing to live for." The words are cruel, Juliet knows. And yet she can't help but say them. Can't help but want to hurt Kate with words the way Kate has hurt her. "You wanna die Kate? Then die. But some of us have something to live for."

Juliet stands to her feet then, silently. Turning her back on Kate, Juliet closes the door with a soft click as she leaves the infirmary. Kate is left with only questions, as the delicate footsteps echo abruptly down the hallway before dissolving into lonely silence.


End file.
